Why 'Future Shaper'?

I have used the nickname of 'future shaper' for a while. It is the name of my Korean blog (http://futureshaper.net) on tistory. It is my nickname on twitter (http://twitter.com/futureshaper). I want to write couple of books and one of them is 'Future Shaper'.

But why 'Future Shaper'?

The person I imagine is not a 'future decider', 'future planner', or 'future changer'. He doesn't change the future dramatically. Just shaping future. As I put the note, it is changing just 5 degree, not 180 degree.

When I was in high school, I thought I would become a great person. I was one of the top three. On my birthday during senior year, I was the top for first semester, the top for pre-SAT test (in Korean school, there is nation wide, organized pre-SAT test), and I got an award from district education affairs. One one day, I got all of three. I had my moment.

Well honestly, I was old enough to know that high-school was just a small pond. World outside was much bigger. I didn't take it as a huge deal. But still the day meant something for me. I felt that I could be anyone I wanted to be. "I am limitless as unwritten number is." After high school, I went to Seoul National University. The top university of Korea. Still I was somebody... who believed to do many things with his life. But selecting engineering narrowed down my area quite a bit. From 180 degree to, say, 30 degree.

After 10 or so years, I had seen good things and bad things. Married. Had child. Lost my parents. Many things. I don't say there was no hope. But I knew that my choice was very narrow. Maybe 1 degree.

At that time, the idea of 'future shaping' came to me. Right. I can't change my life for 180 degree. But maybe 10 degree. 5 degree. It maybe enough for me. For example, being a 'solution architect' is quite different from 'software engineer'. Being a engineering manager is quite different from a team lead. If I pursue the top edge of my narrow angle, as time goes by, the difference gets bigger and bigger from where I wouldn't do anything.

That was a small lesson to me. You don't want to change yourself to someone very far from where you are. But you may find a way to go there. You angle is narrow as like 5 degree for now. After one year later, you start from there. Again you have a choice of narrow angle, but from edge to edge, you can make quite a big change. It may take a while. Even so, it's a hope, isn't it? :)

I don't look too far. Yes. I have where I want to go in my mind. But no need to have anxiety to reach there as quickly as possible. I am old enough to know that I can't change my world in a day. But in 10 years? Of course :)

It needs continuous effort to stay at the edge, though. I should be at the best place that I can be. I gotta do what I gotta do to stay at the best place in the narrow angle. It is not easy. Sometimes tiring. But what can you do?

That's why I want to be 'Future Shaper'. I can't change my future. I only shape it a little bit different. Still, it is enough for me now.

“Climb” of Miley Cyrus

Until last week, Miley Cyrus has been just a teen celebrity who Janey (my daughter) likes. I watched Hannah Montana on Disney channel several times with Janey and actually I enjoyed the show. But that was it.

Recently, I had a chance to listen Climb multiple times. And now I became a fan of Miley Cyrus :) I am a 41 years old man, but hey why can’t I like this talented singer?

Anyway, I really like the lyrics of this song. So I copied it here.

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Coming back? Or true beginning?

Since the first posting, it's been 6 months already. Time goes so fast, and my life is being shaken all the time.

During the time, I wrote many articles in Korean. Maybe it is because English is not my primary language. But also, I love Korean language itself. As like any language, you have many different ways to express one meaning. Even though the meaning is same, but there are different nuiances that each expression has. I know the difference in Korean, but not in English. That's why I love Korean more than English.

However, I live in the US. I use English for my work. Still I WILL LIVE in the US for for quite long time (if I ever move). Dillema is, as I write more and more in Korean, my English skill is reduced and I need to be better in English.

So... I am seriously considering to coming back to this blog. Actually it will be the true beginning of this blog.

Hope of being responsible

I became a forties.

When I was in junior school, I thought forty is like an end of life.
If you don't achieve something in thirties, there is no chance.

But when I became forty, I had very little thing.
Good news is that I will live another thirty or forty years.
I have still time to do something.

So far, I have blamed others.
Poor parents, bad lucks, and etc.

But with this age, everything falls on my responsibility.
I can't blame anyone else. I can blame only one, me.

This blog will contain my hope, my dream.
After ten years from now, what I am is what I make.

I can't change my future totally different from now.
But I can shape it a little bit.

I am a future shaper.